GVHD, the gift that keeps on giving

I feel a bit of guilt about writing this next post. There are so many people out there that are searching and hunting for their perfect match so they can have a bone marrow transplant. Praying for their shot at survival. I was so lucky to have my one and only sister be my match. My transplant was successful. I have really not had any major complications since my transplant. No infections, I engrafted fine, the cancer is being kept away so far....so, what do I have to complain about, right? Nothing I guess. I just find that, day after day, I am growing tired of dealing with this disease's many off shoots. GVHD. You understand it in a vague way when the doctors describe it to you after telling you the only chance you'll have of long term survival is a BMT. It seems like something small compared to the cancer. Something you can deal with for a shot at surviving. Your doctors also tell you that a touch of GVHD is a good sign for a transplant patient. Patients that have some GVHD have less of a chance of the cancer coming back. I remember being so terrified about GVHD after the transplant, but, at the same time praying for a bit of it to come my way. It seemed like such an amorphous thing that could indiscriminately pop up here or there. The doctors just don't know where it will decided to make itself known. They give the line up of the usual suspects, skin, GI tract and liver. But, what I have grown to discover is that GVHD can work it's way in to many other places. My manifestation is vaginally. There, I said it. I find it embarrassing to talk about. It's what I've been dealing with every day for the last 6 months. Just when I think it's under control, it flares up. It's just plain painful. And, recently, I feel like I am getting a touch in my joints. Who knew it could attack you there? My arms and hands are a bit stiff and their range of motion is diminished. My hands have lost some power and I can't make a fist. My doctors don't want to do anything yet with the arms and hands. It's a bit of wait and see. Some days it's bad, others, well, not so much. GVHD is just one big, mean, nasty roller coaster I would really like to get off of.